Post by meyers7 on Mar 10, 2021 10:27:52 GMT -5
And lastly the Legacy
THE LEGACY OF THE BALLHOG CHICK
"I won't go to Shady Acres,"
said Miss Pat to old R.B.
"cause last May those quacks and fakers
left me sitting in a tree.
"And besides I'm much more calm now
than I was a year ago.
Handle setbacks with aplomb now,
lose to Geno like a pro.
"All I need's some nice linguini
at our favorite hideaway.
And for you the fettucine
then a cup of orange sorbet.
" So at Casa Salvatore,
in their booth all settled in,
with signori and signore
and a strolling violin
came the owner with a bottle
that he set in front of Pat,
and he poured a little in her glass
saying "Try a taste of that."
As she stared upon the label
just one eye began to blink.
And it seemed she'd be unable
then to take the smallest drink.
But she raised her glass and sniffed it
like a gourmet without peer.
Next the cork she slowly lifted --
and then stuck it in her ear.
And she leapt atop the table
where she howled and waved a spoon
as she tottered, quite unstable,
and then called out like a loon.
And the owner dropped his platter
as he dived behind the bar.
All the mess would scarcely matter
when the door was much too far.
When the room fell fully silent,
then he met Pat's steely gaze,
just a red spot on each cheekbone
there to mark her lunar phase.
And she held a lock of hair so
she could comb it with a fork,
wondering why the people stared so,
could it be her one ear cork?
"Now ya'll can quit your starin.'
Rudeness is as rudeness does."
Then she turned back to the owner
as the room began to buzz.
"Sal, no matter how we swaggered,
and no matter what our schtick,
we still suffered from the dagger
of that awful Ballhog Chick
"She just beat the heck out of us
(see I wouldn't really swear)
then she took the darned old game ball
and she kicked it in the air.
"You can keep your doggoned vino,
and we'll skip the doggy bag.
I just bet you're friends with Geno,
'cause that wine would make me gag.
"And we'll just take home a six-pack.
That'll doubtless make me grin,
when R.B. sits down and kicks back
and he tells me how we'll win.
"But if I should wake all sweaty
crying out, 'That Ballhog Chick!'
please don't think I'm being petty
when those nightmares make me sick."
THE LEGACY OF THE BALLHOG CHICK
"I won't go to Shady Acres,"
said Miss Pat to old R.B.
"cause last May those quacks and fakers
left me sitting in a tree.
"And besides I'm much more calm now
than I was a year ago.
Handle setbacks with aplomb now,
lose to Geno like a pro.
"All I need's some nice linguini
at our favorite hideaway.
And for you the fettucine
then a cup of orange sorbet.
" So at Casa Salvatore,
in their booth all settled in,
with signori and signore
and a strolling violin
came the owner with a bottle
that he set in front of Pat,
and he poured a little in her glass
saying "Try a taste of that."
As she stared upon the label
just one eye began to blink.
And it seemed she'd be unable
then to take the smallest drink.
But she raised her glass and sniffed it
like a gourmet without peer.
Next the cork she slowly lifted --
and then stuck it in her ear.
And she leapt atop the table
where she howled and waved a spoon
as she tottered, quite unstable,
and then called out like a loon.
And the owner dropped his platter
as he dived behind the bar.
All the mess would scarcely matter
when the door was much too far.
When the room fell fully silent,
then he met Pat's steely gaze,
just a red spot on each cheekbone
there to mark her lunar phase.
And she held a lock of hair so
she could comb it with a fork,
wondering why the people stared so,
could it be her one ear cork?
"Now ya'll can quit your starin.'
Rudeness is as rudeness does."
Then she turned back to the owner
as the room began to buzz.
"Sal, no matter how we swaggered,
and no matter what our schtick,
we still suffered from the dagger
of that awful Ballhog Chick
"She just beat the heck out of us
(see I wouldn't really swear)
then she took the darned old game ball
and she kicked it in the air.
"You can keep your doggoned vino,
and we'll skip the doggy bag.
I just bet you're friends with Geno,
'cause that wine would make me gag.
"And we'll just take home a six-pack.
That'll doubtless make me grin,
when R.B. sits down and kicks back
and he tells me how we'll win.
"But if I should wake all sweaty
crying out, 'That Ballhog Chick!'
please don't think I'm being petty
when those nightmares make me sick."