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Post by UConnChapette on Aug 27, 2022 8:52:26 GMT -5
Well, as I start my third week in Nebraska, Dad is slowly recovering and the search for an assisted living center has suffered a setback. We had found a place that would be good for them. Put down a deposit. But after a nurse evaluation, they determined he needed too much care. I am not sure that is true, or if it is a matter of he is not ready to move out of rehab yet and they want to get the unit rented. My sister didn't like the place for a number of reasons. But the search begins again for a place.
Now that the hip has healed enough that he can put weight on his left leg, he will be more mobile with the assistance of a walker. His emotions are a concern. He cries very easily at both happy memories and regrets. I think he is depressed - common in the elderly - and needs to be evaluated for that. But at 90, I don't know if starting anti-depressants is a good idea. The first night after his surgeon gave him the okay to start bearing weight, he was a naughty boy and walked by himself to the wheelchair to get to the bathroom. It probably would have been a shorter walk to the bathroom directly. Regardless, he was sternly chastised by the CNA to "never do that again".
I was hoping to be able to come home to CT after they had at least partially moved into assisted living. Tentatively 9/17 - but with the setback of finding an AL facility I don't know. It is going to be very difficult for my dad when I do go home. He has gotten used to my daily visits. But I have a home in CT too.
It is so hard when our parents age to the point where they revert to having needs akin to a small child. Medical science has advanced to the point where people's vital organs can continue to function, but the quality of life is greatly diminished. I am cherishing these moments with my dad while I can. But it is a difficult time.
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Post by bulkey on Aug 27, 2022 9:37:52 GMT -5
Well, as I start my third week in Nebraska, Dad is slowly recovering and the search for an assisted living center has suffered a setback. We had found a place that would be good for them. Put down a deposit. But after a nurse evaluation, they determined he needed too much care. I am not sure that is true, or if it is a matter of he is not ready to move out of rehab yet and they want to get the unit rented. My sister didn't like the place for a number of reasons. But the search begins again for a place. Now that the hip has healed enough that he can put weight on his left leg, he will be more mobile with the assistance of a walker. His emotions are a concern. He cries very easily at both happy memories and regrets. I think he is depressed - common in the elderly - and needs to be evaluated for that. But at 90, I don't know if starting anti-depressants is a good idea. The first night after his surgeon gave him the okay to start bearing weight, he was a naughty boy and walked by himself to the wheelchair to get to the bathroom. It probably would have been a shorter walk to the bathroom directly. Regardless, he was sternly chastised by the CNA to "never do that again". I was hoping to be able to come home to CT after they had at least partially moved into assisted living. Tentatively 9/17 - but with the setback of finding an AL facility I don't know. It is going to be very difficult for my dad when I do go home. He has gotten used to my daily visits. But I have a home in CT too. It is so hard when our parents age to the point where they revert to having needs akin to a small child. Medical science has advanced to the point where people's vital organs can continue to function, but the quality of life is greatly diminished. I am cherishing these moments with my dad while I can. But it is a difficult time. Little one can say except the obvious truth: that you're a fantastic and caring daughter. Life at this cutting edge can be exquisitely painful and poignant. But you have the courage and strength to continue. You're in our thoughts, Chappy.
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Post by huskyharper on Aug 28, 2022 19:20:05 GMT -5
ditto what Bulkey said, Chappy.
On Tuesday, I will attend the fourth funeral in the last 5 months. It's terribly depressing, and I remind myself that while getting old sucks, the alternative is really hard on those left behind.
Hang in there, we're thinking of you!
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Post by semper on Aug 28, 2022 20:48:50 GMT -5
Thanks so much for checking in Chappy! You are brave and good.
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Post by bulkey on Aug 31, 2022 14:13:31 GMT -5
More funny animal videos.
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Post by pinotbear on Aug 31, 2022 17:23:59 GMT -5
More funny animal videos.
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Post by UConnChapette on Sept 6, 2022 11:54:28 GMT -5
Week four in Nebraska begins. Dad was reassessed by the nurse from the assisted living facility on Friday, and he had been weight bearing for about a week. The improvement was significant. All indications from the nurse was that he now passed the criteria and we are just waiting for the formal notification that they will be approved. From what the physical therapist said, he is pretty much ready to leave rehab and they are waiting for the formal approval from the AL facility as well. They mentioned perhaps as early as the end of this week. If that happens, things will need to move quickly - hire a moving company, identify everything they want to take with them so the movers can pack them up. Obtaining a walker, wheel chair, bed cane, and gait belts. Etc.
Met with a realtor. There is minimal work that was suggested to get the house market ready - a little peeling paint to fix, burned out light bulbs, clean carpets and a good deep clean of the house. She will also make some referrals to estate sale companies and felt there was a lot of good stuff that would make a lot of money for them. My dad's wife, Lucy, has been madly starting to purge things and I have to keep reigning her in. She wants to donate books, CDs, etc. She doesn't realize that those things will get snapped up in an estate sale. Lucy has a lot of artwork from her sister who was an artist. Some of her artwork is really good. Lucy was going to just toss out the unframed pieces - and some of the framed - but the realtor said "KEEP THEM!" That kind of stuff sells surprisingly well according to her.
My dad's office is going to be the nightmare. He was a commercial photographer. He has a room about the size of my basement that is piled high with pictures, slide trays, movie reels, projectors, light boxes and a bunch of other assorted photography equipment. He is going to have to go through a lot of that before the estate sale. It is his "I will get to it someday" room. Now, they have to downsize and it has become more urgent. Of course, he has limited mobility so I am not sure how that is all going to work. But we will figure it out. The house is paid for, so there isn't much of an urgency to reduce expenses other than utilities, taxes and insurance. But that room alone makes me want to get home and start a deep purge of my house. I have no idea what is worth keeping of my dad's stuff. I would happily take the pictures of me, my sister, my mom and dad. Dad wanted to digitalize them all, but I can take those pictures and do that. But the rest of the professional stuff? No clue. I hope Dad decides to just get rid of the rest of the stuff because neither my sister nor I will want them. They mean nothing to me. Just like most of the stuff in my house that I have kept over the years will mean nothing to my boys.
One surprising development on the home front...my son with the "issues" reached out to me to see how I was doing emotionally, saying he knows this is a difficult time and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help. He also opened up and shared something that caused him a full day, full on panic attack a few months ago. So what, you say? This is a man (34 no longer qualifies as a kid except in my own mind) who couldn't get out of his own mind because he was so wrapped up in his own problems, anxieties and worries. I was shocked to say the least, and I was so happy that he finally reached out - even if it was 4:00 AM in Nebraska. At that hour I assumed he was in crisis. But he was just wanting to communicate - via text, of course. This represents some really significant progress for him. He is wrapping up his state mandated intervention program this week. And he is trying to find a missing power cord for his old laptop to try to refresh himself with computer coding so I take it that means he is looking to get back up to speed to start applying for jobs again. Such positive signs that makes my heart happy.
I am missing home, my husband (shocking, I tell you!), my son, and my cats. I am hoping that this situation with my dad gets settled and we can start transitioning him and Lucy into their new living arrangements in the next week. I may come home on 9/17 or at the latest 9/24 - unless there is an unexpected change in the AL plans.
Probably far too personal, but I am an open book. This place is a refuge for me sometimes where I can get away from my worries and commune with fellow Husky maniacs (as a group, not an individual!). Thank you all for being here, sharing our love of the Huskies, and caring about each other. Your support means a lot to me.
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Post by bulkey on Sept 6, 2022 13:05:55 GMT -5
It's so great that your son reached out to you, Chappy. All that hard work, with your son and with your father, is so very, very difficult, but, in the end, soul-fulfilling. You're in our thoughts.
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Post by knightsbridgeaz on Sept 6, 2022 13:47:11 GMT -5
Glad to hear things are looking up as much as they likely can.
Regarding the photography equipment - try talking to another "old school" photographer (perhaps your Dad knows one) who might help direct an outlet for the stuff he has. My father had done some professional photography in the 1950's, and took and developed his own black and white photos until his death in the 1980's. While this was clearly a different era in photography, a local photographic store directed us to some interested folks for at least some of his considerable (but much less than your father has) supplies.
I wish you a lot of luck on an estate sale. Much can go either way, we cleared the excess out of our house, my Mom's house, and my wife's Mom's house when we variously moved out of "long term" homes; and we used an auction company in NJ that held huge monthly sales and a more rural auction company that held biweekly sales in South Carolina. A bit different from an on-site estate sale, but in both cases, they took the stuff away and you had the advantage of a large crowd bidding. A lot of stuff was put in "lots", and in the end I think we got about $2000 for each of the sales. Furniture is apparently a "tough" sell, as we ended up donating most of it as the auction company didn't want it in NJ because, at least in 2010, they couldn't sell it. They did take some odd things because one of their bidders was Cracker Barrel.
As I say, glad to hear the improvement happening.
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Post by rockymtblue2 on Sept 7, 2022 9:59:43 GMT -5
Feel it necessary to bitch! Fire season has finally arrived and far from bitching I am grateful it has held off so long in this torridly hot, windy summer. There is still plenty of fire weather coming and we have had a few 50,000 acre fires, but nothing to what it could have been. We have even had a lot of lightning that sparked no fires. Very grateful.
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Post by huskyharper on Sept 12, 2022 13:42:03 GMT -5
re: auctions selling estates... my "other" mom passed this spring and had a several beautiful pieces that none of us could take. We sent them to auction and they sold for peanuts. Beautiful cherry wide drop-leaf table went for less than $100 (for example). It was very hard to fathom. However, she had some lovely clothes that are going off to consignment and we're hopeful. The eldest of her children paid for the funeral and the stone and the burial and there is nothing in the estate to pay her back, so anything we can get for the odds and ends are hers.
There's just no telling what's happening in some markets.
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Post by UConnChapette on Sept 12, 2022 14:38:30 GMT -5
Starting to have some serious concerns about my dad's wife and her thinking process. My sister and I have told her MANY TIMES to throw NOTHING away unless it is clearly trash (food, used kleenex, food containers, etc.) or clothing donations to Goodwill, etc. And we have repeated it numerous times, dozens of times.
After she left today for her evaluation at the assisted living center, I went out and browsed through the many bags of "garbage". Amongst clear garbage in one bag were two production animation cels from the Disney movie Aladdin. ORIGINAL PRODUCTION CELS USED IN MAKING THE FILM! Not only did my dad state to her and my sister and I we were to keep those, but they were in his office where I have told her repeatedly to "throw nothing away until my dad has a change to look at it". She took the damn pictures right off the wall, and put them in the garbage like they were chicken bones and moldy left over spaghetti. Forget the fact that they may have value (maybe not a lot, but something!) Those pictures have a history with my dad. They mean something to him and she had no business deciding on her own that they were things to be thrown away.
She also threw away a perfectly good rug. Didn't even consider donating it to GW. My sister and I have told her that there may be things in the house that are not worth anything, but there may be other things that have more value than she may realize and to leave everything for the estate sale people to evaluate. If they say toss or donate, then and only then should she do it.
I fear she may have more then a touch of early dementia. It is sad, but incredibly frustrating. I wish my dad were a bit more mobile so we could bring him to the house to look over what isn't being moved to their AL apartment. And I fear what will happen when I go home and am not here to babysit her!
I have resorted to posting signs on the door to the garage to "THINK TWICE! If it isn't true garbage or clothing for donation, nothing should leave the house." And also "DO NOT throw away anything that is my father's"
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Post by semper on Sept 12, 2022 15:14:25 GMT -5
Gotta keep an eye on that one.
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Post by bulkey on Sept 14, 2022 9:13:23 GMT -5
Feel good of the day
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Post by UConnChapette on Sept 14, 2022 12:22:01 GMT -5
I'm cryin'. This is so sweet.
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Post by bulkey on Sept 14, 2022 23:03:02 GMT -5
I dunno. I must somehow be on the cute dog threads.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2022 4:14:31 GMT -5
I'm cryin'. This is so sweet. Animal rescue without human involvement. I wish for more people to be as kind as that wonderful dog.
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Post by UConnChapette on Sept 15, 2022 10:53:59 GMT -5
My dad and Lucy (his wife) have been successfully situated in their new lodgings in a beautiful assisted living facility. They are very happy to be back together after two months apart.
To borrow from Tony Orlando - "I'm coming home, I've done my time..."
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Post by bulkey on Sept 15, 2022 11:05:00 GMT -5
My dad and Lucy (his wife) have been successfully situated in their new lodgings in a beautiful assisted living facility. They are very happy to be back together after two months apart. To borrow from Tony Orlando - "I'm coming home, I've done my time..." You've done more than your time. You were heroic!
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Post by chicagogg on Sept 15, 2022 11:43:51 GMT -5
Bless you, Chappy! Once again, you put family first and took care of one and all. Travel home safely and enjoy being back home. (soon, I hope!)
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Post by bulkey on Sept 16, 2022 12:15:46 GMT -5
When live TV was a lot more live than Saturday Night Live....
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Post by bulkey on Sept 16, 2022 23:20:51 GMT -5
Why am I getting these? Really cute, though!
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Post by bulkey on Sept 17, 2022 21:00:43 GMT -5
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies. I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now
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Post by huskyharper on Sept 20, 2022 16:14:07 GMT -5
bwahahahahaha... that last - the difference between the dog and the cat, is just so classic!
And Lucy and Ethel are always hilarious.
Thanks for making me smile!
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Post by samanthabrown3 on Sept 20, 2022 17:35:44 GMT -5
I dunno. I must somehow be on the cute dog threads. I'm on the bitch and moan thread. How do I get on the cute-dog one?
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